Really Slow



Things have been very slow for us and we have not had much time to try to live our dynamic. I know that there are ways we can implement  our lifestyle into daily things but that has been lacking. My Owner seems to be struggling with the way things are. It was just a little over a year ago that He had a slave who was wanting a sister slave to add to His life, but now, that relationship fizzled out and we met, fell madly in love, and He has had to change His lifestyle to accommodate me and my children.

I know He loves me and still wants to have this M/s dynamic with me, but I fear that this slow pace is wearing on Him and His happiness, and I want to make Him happier than He has ever been.

You have all given me some great advice on how to have this dynamic within a family unit, yet, we have not really tried to make that happen.

I still wear my collars, wear my butt plug at all times, and worship His cock when he first gets home from work, but, things have changed a bit and we both have  difficulty planning things out. My Owner is more of a spontaneous type of person. Scheduling and planning is not really the way we operate, but I believe we may need to do this. We may NEED to bend a little to maintain, and bring back the way things were to the fullest degree that we can. Waiting for tomorrow to do this is not the right choice, we only have this moment and we need to take advantage of it.

I love my Owner. I miss my Owner.

I worry I am not making Him happy.

That weight on my chest is crushing.

I Am Back!!


Ok, technically I have not gone anywhere… however, it has been some time since I have made a post. I am still around… just busy with my vanilla blog/facebook page.

Why do you not know of these vanilla creative outlets? Well, quite honestly, it would probably bore you to death. ;) It is nothing that has to do with this life. If you would like to know these vanilla hobbies of mine, send me an email and I would be happy to send you the link. It is probably not your cup of tea… but just wanted to throw it out there.

My Owner and I, while still happy with one another, are trying to figure out how to live this lifestyle while a child is in the house. Like I have mentioned before, I give all of you kudos for making this work while being in a family unit with children in the picture. It is something we are still trying to maneuver… so we can have the best of both worlds.

That being said, I worry that I could lose my Owner.

I know that He loves me, I know He adores me, and I know that He still wants me to do all I can to become His perfect slave. He has no children and I have several. My situation is unique though in that they live with Dad… aside from my oldest son who is 17 and now living with us… so it was very easy to LIVE this life to the hilt. Now that my son is living with us, it has been much more difficult.

My Owner has been an amazing man, taking on my son even though He has never wanted kids. You see, we fell madly in love with one another instantly and we began our M/s dynamic… it is all we know together. Now we have to be more creative in our lifestyle.

I worry because this is what He needs to live His life. He does not want a ‘normal’ relationship and in some ways, our relationship has slipped into vanilla land. I have children… so until they are grown, I always have to keep the possibility open that they will live with me at some point and time… which will put a huge dent in the wants and needs of my Owner.

Don’t get me wrong… He is not threatening to release me. These are my concerns because I know Him and I want nothing but happiness for Him.

So, now that we have gotten caught up in vanilla land and are frustrated with it, we are going to change it up and start our M/s relationship again and keep it in the forefront as much as we possibly can.

Any advice for this slave who is striving for perfection?

My Owner is my love… my everything… and I want to be all that I can for Him.

He is my FOREVER…

The Silence From This Slave

I am still here my wonderful friends of the kink world! So why the silence??

Well,  the summer started of with children coming into the picture for a summer visit, which completely left me in “awe” of those of you who manage to keep this dynamic despite the fact that you have families (specifically children). It was near impossible for us to maintain our M/s dynamic and for a full month, we were pretty much your average Joe. It was “different” to say the least and really had me craving my Owner and the way that we live when we are alone. My Owner, being the gracious man that He is, did not stress my role as His slave to a huge degree because my children were only going to be with us for a month and then they were to go back home. He allowed me to be completely absorbed by them so that they had a great first summer visit, and so they went home with lasting memories of the good time we all had. It was important to Him that they left more than happy…. this was His first “meeting” of my smallest children and He wanted to make a great first impression, which He absolutely did.

A super huge kuddo’s to those of you trying to maintain your roles even though you have children “underfoot’ so to speak.

They have gone back home, but another little obstacle has come into play…. my oldest son is now living with us permanently at this time. This is a bit more easy to maneuver around because he is 17yrs old. The only thing really different is we can’t roam around naked, nor can I be leashed outside of our bedroom, I can’t worship His cock at the top of our entryway when He gets home from work… ect…. I am sure you totally get my drift.

We can make some of these things work by going straight to our bedroom when He gets home from work each day, or specifically, being proactive with our time and make the most of our alone time.

I have to get a little more creative when it comes to my submission.


For Those Married With Children….

How in the hell do you manage this type of lifestyle when you have children running around??

I can certainly understand now how some of you have to live this way only when you feasibly can, it is impossible otherwise.

Here in our household, we have been surrounded by kids, and our lifestyle has been seriously affected.

Things will get back to normal eventually where we can go back to the way we do things in our M/s dynamic.

Kuddos to you who make this work even when you have children in the picture.


A Little Asphixiation


I love to be choked… not in a painful I can’t breathe way… but more like an erotic, very submissive and trusting way.  No, my Owner does not hurt me, and I am a willing partner in this type of play. This type of the dynamic will no doubt eventually involve me passing out, and I have.

Two times to be exact.

The first was where we were both standing together and He had his hand around my neck offering instructions and explaining what type of slave He is expecting me to be. It didn’t hurt at all and didn’t even make me feel like I could not breathe. I remember listening to his voice and then all of a sudden I am on the floor. I collapsed and my Owner caught me to lower me to the ground. It is the craziest sensation. I felt confused and disoriented once I came to (which was instantaneous)…. and a cold sensation made its way through my body. He had to explain to me what exactly happened because I had no recollection of anything other than standing there and then in a “blink” I am on the floor. It felt like I lost time or something. It was pretty odd.

The second time I was being led on a leash and was not crawling fast enough. Half way across the living room I started to see stars and then the next thing I knew, I was lying on my back in our bedroom (apparently I made it that far before passing out) and came to with my Owner hovering over me. He was comforting me as I was once again disoriented… but this time I recognized that I passed out… and the “cold” sensation was there again.

I find it fascinating. Literally, in a blink of an eye, I would pass out… no pain, no fear, no feeling like I couldn’t breath.

My Owner said it looks like a marionette cuts the strings on its puppet. I just fall in place.

Anyone else experience this at all? Or anyone share this sort of fetish?

I want to state as well that we do this safely and are aware of the dangers… I do not feel at all that I am in harms way. My Owner loves me and would never do anything to hurt me.

I also want to state that we do not use rope of any kind for this type of play to keep it safer. Safety in our kinks is important.


I am a hard core beautiful slave baby as my Owner likes to call me.

Voltaire Quote

A Voltaire quote for my Owner.

“I should like to lie at your feet and die in your arms.”- Voltaire


Immaculate Orgasm!


Hook deep in my ass, kneeling before my Owner, sucking His cock, listening to Him talk dirty to me… He told me to play with my titties. I did as I was told of course and happily squeezed my titts, alternating between the two. I squeezed them, pinched my nipples, twisted them, pulled on them… and made sure they each got played with. It was so fucking arousing to be sucking on His cock while I played with my titts. The hook was pulling deeper into my ass with every stroke of His cock with my mouth… it tugged and made my ass sore, adding to the ache in my kitty.

My pussy was automatically clenching on its own… rhythmically… as my face was being fucked. Stimulating my nipples was adding to my arousal and I noticed that I was building up to an orgasm without any stimulation to my kitty. My arousal was so high that I felt like I could cum without actually touching my pussy at all. It felt like I could cum if the right breeze came along, I felt that sensitive.

My Owner noticed my arousal… probably through my moans and the need I had for Him to fuck my face… the insatiable need to have Him in my mouth. His cock was delicious and I couldn’t get enough. My moaning was so lustful.

He told me that if I could cum with His cock in my mouth, and my titties being played with… then He would give me permission. But absolutely no pussy stimulation was allowed.

Kneeling there, my kitty was throbbing… clenching… and it kept tingling as I pinched my nipples. The ache was building up rather quickly.

My Owner talked dirty.

My orgasm was building… little by little. My pussy clenched and if I had touched my clit at that moment, I would have cum instantly.

Dirty talk, sucking His cock with purpose, pinching my nipples and squeezing my titties, my pussy was aching and tingling… one more “clench” and I would cum. Between sucks I asked my Owner if I could please cum… and He told me to cum for Him. Instantly, my pussy clenched, I pinched my nipple one last time, and held onto Him for support as I sucked His cock. I came quick and the orgasm rippled through my body… instantly I began to shake.

I slowed at sucking His cock and took deep breaths as my orgasm came to an end. I continued to hold onto Him for the much needed support… my legs were shaky and my body quivered.

Another first with my Owner… something we have been toying with that has finally happened.

It was fucking yummy… now we have to do it again and again. ;)


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